Saturday, May 10, 2008
A Lesson in Compassion
When I was in university, my next-door-neighbour in residence happened to be a girl, who, once upon a time, was a street kid in Toronto. Her father, an educated professional, was also very abusive, and she, at some point in her teens, decided a life on the streets would be better than her life at home. She became quite a talented graffiti artist, outwitting the police in most cases, and in a roundabout way, began working for a graphic designer who then encouraged her to go to university. Her story, and the way she turned her life around has never left me.
Today, a cold and rainy May day, we were all out running errands. In fact, Scotian was picking up his new bicycle - a birthday gift, and well deserved as he regularly commutes to work across the city by bicycle. Huddled under an awning, I could see what appeared to be the outline of a hooded figure. I had a closer look, it was a young man and his dog, huddled on dirty blankets, trying to stay dry. A man and his son came out of the store, went to their car, and came back with a container of dog food for the dog. I considered this for a moment, I have seen this many times in this city, particularly on hot days, where people find compassion for the animals of the homeless, offering up a bowl of water or some dog food, but nothing for the dog's companion. Just as I was fishing around in the car, looking for change, Scotian arrived back at the car and BananaMuffin announced she had to use the potty. I told Scotian I would take her to the potty and that I was buying that young man lunch.
I took BananaMuffin to a nearby Tim Horton's and ordered up a sandwich and a carton of milk. BananaMuffin took the carton eagerly, asking for a straw. I told her the carton wasn't for us, we were giving the lunch to the man outside with the dog, because he didn't have a mom and dad to fix his lunch for him, and it's important to share what we have with those who don't have as much. Again she asked for a straw. Again I explained.
We went back outside, and BananaMuffin asked me if she could pet the dog. She knows that before she is allowed to pet a strange dog, she has to ask the dog's "mom or dad" if it's okay. So I asked the young man if it was okay that she pet the dog. He put a dirt stained hand on the dog's head and said, "sure, she's a good dog." So BananaMuffin gave the dog a tentative pat on the head. I handed him the bag and told him we had bought him some lunch, and that it seemed like he could use some nutrition. He was grateful, and we chatted a few minutes more, mostly about the dog (Rocko). He was very pleasant, and I took note of his long, greasy hair, wondering how it must feel to be in his shoes. Before I even had BananaMuffin back in her car seat, he had opened the sandwich, broken it in half, and given half to the dog. This amazed me: this poor young man had nothing, and yet he was still sharing half of his food with his companion.
In my mind, I wrestled with the ethics - by feeding him, did I also feed the cycle of poverty rather than working to get him out of his situation? I came to the conclusion that to change your situation, you have to be focused, and it's nearly impossible to focus on change when you are focused on just getting your next meal.
I hope that BananaMuffin learned something about giving and compassion for those finding themselves in less fortunate situations, but as we drove away, she said, "that was a nice puppy." And I suppose, that was enough.
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