Monday, May 26, 2008
The Mommy Myths
This past week, I've spoken to a lot of postpartum moms who didn't know the kinds of things that might happen to their bodies after having a baby. Because a lot of people don't speak about the details, there are a lot of moms out there wondering what is normal. I have always been very open about my experiences, and to help anyone that might be a new mom wondering what's happening now that they've delivered their baby, I'd like to dispel some not-commonly-talked-about new mommy myths:
When I was expecting BananaMuffin three years ago, I clearly remember the public health nurses telling us in our breastfeeding clinic that if breastfeeding is painful, then you must have a poor latch. What they don't tell you is that the power of suction your newborn has is similar to a new Dyson vacuum cleaner. Put your baby finger in your newborn's mouth and feel how hard they can tug. Repeat 10-12 times a day. No matter how perfect your latch, your nipples will be sore, may crack and bleed, for the first two or three weeks. It takes time for your body to get used to this. This *may* be symptomatic of a bad latch, but is not necessarily so. It's always good to check with a lactation consultant, nurse, or experienced friend, but be aware your nipples will hurt - and that it will get better soon!
What helped: soaking my breast pads in warm water and then putting them inside my bra, Lansinoh Lanolin.
Post-partum lochia. The bleeding that happens after giving birth is sometimes shocking. Many moms, myself included, have reported passing blood clots up to the size of a lemon! This should only happen in the first days immediately following the birth of your baby, and then the bleeding will subside to a volume that is more like a regular period. The bleeding does continue for 3-6 weeks postpartum, and you will most likely need some form of feminine protection during that time. I wore paper pads after BananaMuffin was born, and then after Spunky, I discovered Mama Pads. I highly recommend these pads - they will NOT cause soreness and discomfort after weeks of continuous use like paper pads will. I still use these monthly and LOVE them! They are also wonderfully soothing when soaked in witch hazel to soothe a sore perineum.
Sex after baby. This is a tough one. Having a baby changes a lot of things in your life - you are tired, healing, breastfeeding...the list goes on. After BananaMuffin was born, I didn't feel comfortable sharing her "food source" with anyone other than her, something that I also felt, to a lesser extent, after Spunky's birth. Breastfeeding hormones also cause vaginal dryness, which can lead to discomfort, along with decreased desire. I caught a clip of
Sue Johanson on TV last week talking about this subject, and the average time of resumption of something resembling a normal sex life after baby is somewhere in the 6-12 month period following baby's birth. The discomfort of vaginal dryness often improves once you have your first postpartum menstrual period, and rest assured that things do get "back to normal", but it does take time and it is a very personal and individual decision.
Hemorrhoids. Many pregnancy books will talk about the possibility of swollen veins in your anus and even labia during pregnancy as a result of increased pressure on this particularly sensitive area of your body. What they don't tell you, is that often, hemorrhoids are much more of a problem AFTER delivery. The intense pushing can cause a lot of pressure to develop in these areas and it is not uncommon to develop hemorrohoids AFTER your baby is born, even if you were lucky enough not to suffer with them during your pregnancy. In speaking with doulas, naturopaths and other moms, hemorrhoids as large as plums have been known to develop. Sitz baths and witch hazel and TIME work wonders here!
Incisions: I have not experienced episiotomy, personally, but I have delivered two children by Cesarean section (BananaMuffin was a non-elective Cesarean for breech presentation and Spunky was a badly-positioned VBAC baby who after 26 hours of labour and 2 hours of pushing, was developing severe swelling on his head and the decision was made to deliver him by Cesarean as well). Incisions take time to heal. I can recall very clearly, being out for a walk 6-8 weeks postpartum and feeling like my insides were not put together properly. Eventually everything seems to work itself back in to place, however, more than a year since my last child was born, I am still experiencing numbness and tingling in my lower abdomen as a result of nerve damage from the incision.
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