Tuesday, August 25, 2009
But...
Thank you all for your comments regarding the possible addition of another baby to my family. You're all very encouraging. I'm still struggling with this decision - and although I like the "don't try to have a baby approach", I know my body all too well, and not trying means I'll be pregnant next month - which maybe would be a good thing, but I'm a little too analytical to jump right in just yet.
I do have phenomenal help with the businesses - all of the ladies who work with me on a daily basis are incredibly knowledgeable, intelligent, opinionated, and passionate about many different things. I will introduce them all properly soon, but I'm so lucky to have such a great team of ladies in here! I can't reinforce that enough. I know that they'd keep Nurtured running, however, I also know me: I don't let go easily. And to be honest, I'm struggling with that whole mommy guilt thing.
I regularly read Soule Mama and Anna Maria Horner's blogs, among many others, and they make it look so easy - being a stay-at-home mom with a perfectly clean house, a work-at-home career...umm, I tried that. And I'm EXTREMELY happy with my career the way it is now.
And then there is the HUGE debate, of which there will never be a clear winner: stay at home or work? My mom was a stay-at-home mom, I LOVED having her there every day after school, but with my personality, I was BORED. A lot. All summer, every summer. Because my mom didn't "work", we didn't have enough money for a cottage, or a trip, or camp or any of those things. We certainly were not lacking, but there was not a lot of extra for "luxuries". I liked to be out doing things, and there's only so much you can do surrounded on three sides with cows! Perhaps I was lazy, but I like that my kids have a structure, more than I can provide at home. I'm then told that boredom begets creativity, and then I feel guilty that the structure is taking away the creativity.
And then I feel guilty.
So in adding another baby to this already hectic household - how does one go about hiring a nanny, how does one deal with not enough bedrooms, or a too-small car, how does one manage? So many questions, and while I'm repeatedly told to take it as it comes, I also like to plan - albeit loosely - quite far in advance.
The good news is, I DO have lots of time. My sister reminds me I still have 10 years to think about it, but the farther away my two beautiful children get from babyhood, the more reluctant I feel to go back.
I suppose the answer will work itself out, all in due time.
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