Monday, June 14, 2010
June
If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that June is a double-edged sword for me. It is the month my first child was born, and the month for which I still grieve in a way that I'm only now starting to understand.
Recently, a number of things have happened to me. In May, I traveled to to Moncton to participate in Post-partum Doula Training taught by Susan Martensen, CD(DONA), PCD(DONA). It was an AMAZING opportunity to meet some very incredible women, learn their stories, and feel the support and energy that comes from women who are passionate about birth. It was a small group ranging from women my own age to women in their sixties, some of whom had experienced some very heart-wrenching experiences, leading them to want to make birth better for others and support mothers in that difficult post-partum period.
I broke down in tears a number of times in this workshop, particularly when we were talking about loss. One woman in the workshop had experienced multiple stillbirths. Another had a low-birth weight baby in a remote community and was air-lifted to a major city immediately after delivery. I realized that even though I have a healthy child, like so many others, I experienced a loss of experience. Not even to have a birth filled with rainbows and sunshine, but being able to touch my baby, breastfeed my baby, and live as a family in those early weeks after her birth.
I left realizing that I had not yet grieved, or processed, or even really talked about my experience with my husband. We came home from the hospital and then had a baby to look after, and then another baby...this probably happens with more moms than I realized.
I initially enrolled in the class to help provide better customer service for our families, and because I do feel very strongly that a mom should be allowed to recover and rest after giving birth, perhaps I would do a small amount of post-partum doula work in order to retain my certification. While I was in the workshop, I did have the distinct feeling that I was not meant to be there, and I have only had that feeling at one other time in my life, and it was a time that changed the path of my life completely. So I took it pretty seriously. I'm still not sure my intuition was trying to tell me, but I do know that what came out of it was that I made a very good friend with someone who has come to be a kind of mentor to me, and I met some amazing women and learned a lot of really wonderful information. And I learned that I still need to grieve.
You may also know that we've become sponsors on Sweet Salty, the blog of author Kate Inglis, herself a babylost parent. While I can never compare my experience to hers, it has made me more compassionate, more understanding, and more aware of the impact of experience, particularly the birth experience, and the grieving that sometimes has to take place along with the joy.
It's taken me five years to learn. I feel like I can finally move on.
|
Archives
Brand Labels
Category Labels
Friends of Nurtured
|
Account
Subscribe to Posts [